A fan. A person who has a strong interest in or admiration for a particular person or thing; someone who likes a certain group or person and supports them.
When you look at a K-fan‘s life, it seems fascinating with all the love and effort that he/she gives to his/her favorite star(s). A K-fan is usually well-fed with updates from the official social media accounts of her faves, different projects, advertisements, tv show guestings, etc.
If you look at it, it seems like the happiness of a K-fan is simple: 1) watch or see his/her favorite idols; 2) buy merch; 3) see the success of his/her favorite idols and wish for their happiness. That’s how usually the public see a K-fan’s life. But there’s another side of being a fan that is being less tackled and represented. What other people do not know is that, sometimes, it hurts just to be a fan.
So when does it hurt to be a mere fan aside from the moments that you can’t buy merch and/or attend live events?
When your idol is going through a problem.
As a fan, you cry when your favorite celebrity cries. You feel his/her pain but cannot do anything about it. It hurts to be just a fan and not being able to comfort him/her. You can only wish to be on his/her side and be his/her crying shoulder when he/she is going through tough times. But as a mere fan living away from your idol, all you can do is to pray. Kung pwede lang talaga lumipad papunta sa tabi nila.
When your idol is sick.
A news that your idol is sick can make you sick as well. That’s no exaggeration. It happens. And during those times, you wonder if he/she is being taken care of. As a mere fan, it hurts not being able to do anything for your idol because you just can’t. Aray naman.
When you see yourself in the crowd of fans.
It’s an awesome feeling to finally see your idol in person and no words are enough to express the emotions you get. But seeing yourself in the sea of people who are fans just like you will make you realize that you are just one of the many. It’s not that it’s a bad thing but somehow you’ll wonder if there’s a chance that your idol will notice you among the crowd. For you, he/she is the only one but for him, you are just one of the many. Truth hurts.
When your favorite star recognizes you… as a fan.
To be recognized by your idol is a dream come true because out of the many, he/she has noticed you. Does it feel great? Yes, definitely! But afterwards, you might get the feeling that yes, he/she knows you but he/she only knows you as a fan. For other people, it must be their end goal but for some fans who have learned to love their idols not just as artists but also as individuals and have developed feelings with them, it’s a dead end. Because the more that they get closer to their idols, the more they see the gap between them as a star and as a fan. But then again, as fan, we shouldn’t expect anything in return from our idols. We love and give without expecting anything. Admittedly, (sometimes) do we really?
When your idol is confirmed be dating or getting married.
While this may not be true to all, let us not invalidate the feelings of those who are going through tough times and different emotional stages once their idols started dating or starting a married life. Being happy for your idol’s love life doesn’t mean that you can’t be sad or hurting too. They are human too and they deserve to be happy and be with someone they love… So do you.
Insert December Avenue and Moira’s “Kung ‘di rin tayo sa huli. Aawatin ba ang puso kong ibigin ka?”
Knowing this side of being a fan, will you still continue doing it?
It’s a wonderful experience to be a fan. To be someone who gets inspiration and aspiration from your favorite star (aside from the One above, your family and friends) is a different kind of feeling. It may not be all rainbow and sunshine but being a fan is definitely worth it. Whenever you are hurting, read this advice from Jollibee commercial.