READ: How Jeon Jungkook Changed my Life

Last September 1, BTS‘ Jeon Jungkook celebrated his birthday.  And all of his fellow members sent their birthday greetings for him.

Let me share how Jungkook became my bias and how he became a special part of my life.

There was a point in my life when I felt so lost; I was so down and I felt like I have reached the edge—yes, I came to the point when I just wanted to give up everything. Everyone noticed the changes in me, even my boss. She coached me and told me, “I know you’re tired and I know you are going through a lot. Because this is not the ‘you’ that I know.”

I am a 36 year old married woman with a daughter and yes, I too got lost.

Korean drama was my haven and its OST was my sweet escape but it came to a point where even those things can no longer do wonders for me.

My life became a routine that was not healthy. Additionally, my daughter was fighting her depression because of bullying at school and it was something I need to thread carefully.

I went out with my friends but even that failed to remove that bad feeling inside me. Truth to be told, I was drowning inside and I cry sometimes in the most unexpected time.

I was lost, unhappy, and depressed. Until I watched Fight for my Way. At the entrance song of Park Seo Joon, I heard an OST that changed my life forever. I had to pause the drama to search for the song’s title. Then, I found the seven men who I will forever be thankful for.

Afterwatching Fire, I couldn’t stop and I searched for more songs. That’s when DOPE played and a boy in a policeman outfit said, “Ayo Ladies and Gentlemen”.

Then, through those four words, something happened and a change came into my life. I searched for his name (the one which I mentioned) but being a new fan confuses me of who the members were just by looking at their faces. So, I sent the photo to my daughter and she told me it was Jungkook. I even asked her so many times if she was sure.

I searched for more things about them and it took me 2-3 hours to know them by their names. That’s when I found out that Jungkook is the maknae of BTS.

Maknae is a word that haunted me for several weeks. I was not sure if it was right to be his fan after knowing our age gap. So, I decided to have Jin as my bias since he is the oldest in the group. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jin with my whole heart, same with my love for the other members but there was something that’s bugging me. Jungkook kept on pulling me closer to him but I was fighting that feeling so hard. Then, I found Min Yoongi’s story, his battle with depression. I decided that since we have a lot in common, he will be my bias. However, after watching Springday, I knew who my bias really is.

No more denying because deep in my heart I know well that Jeon Jungkook is my bias. Since then, my life changed. I look at life differently and live life to the fullest. My daughter and I became better at the same time and fangirling made us closer than ever. We bought still have our moments but it’s different from before as we understand life better and fight together.

It also gets easier for me to understand other people. Seeing the change in me and my daughter, my husband supported both of us with our needs as fangirls, like the need to escape the harshness in reality. He still often makes jokes about the groups that we love to piss us but he will also surprise us with merch gifts and by knowing each member we like.

I always claim, I wanted to have a son, and Jungkook is the son I never had. It is harder for me to have another child now, but, if it is meant to be, I know it will be given to us. If so, I will name him Jungkook, but my daughter said Jeon as name is more acceptable here in our country.

Jungkook’s growth from the child he was to the man he is now makes me so proud. His attitude has changed and he became a better person. Of course, we all know who helped to mold him to be the person he is now. Because of that love that they have shown and given to him, he becomes the best that he could be and might still be molded later on.

Apologies for my long story.

However, I will forever be thankful for the day when Jeon Jungkook was born.